If the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup, then it's time to reevaluate your life.
Charlie Brown should worry less about kicking that football and more about why he's 8 and bald.
I want to start an LA tour where celebrities drive around to see regular people's houses. "On your left is where Janet from the bank lives."
How come dogs know to lick babies instead of eating them, but I went to college and can't do long division.
Nothing makes me question my existence like my phone asking if I trust my computer.
If Cialis commercials have taught us anything, it's that a rowboat is a perfectly acceptable place for a man to be horny.
I'd like to think I'll be a cool dad, but I just caught myself writing an angry review of a trash bag.